Archive for November, 2010

Bob Maistros

In yet another exclusive, the North Star National has obtained the transcript of a phone call placed by President Barack Obama to Chinese President Hu Jintao to ask for his cooperation in the wake of North Korea’s announcement of its ability to enrich uranium and its artillery attack on a South Korean island:

“President Hu?  How are you?  This is Barack Obama.”

Oh. That 3 a.m. call thing was for real.

“Ah, honored President.  To what does Paramount Leader owe honor of call from World’s Most Powerful Man?  Maybe White House need new widescreen hi-def TV for Christmas?  Or need China to buy more T-bills your Federal Reserve devaluing by printing hundreds of billions of dollars of money backed by nothing?

“Mr. President, I believe you know full well why I am placing this call.  We are looking for your support in bringing some restraint to bear on North Korea after its outrageous, unprovoked attack on the South.”

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Dan Calabrese

Every Thanksgiving Day, you hear this question get tossed around: “What are you thankful for?” The premise of the question is that everyone ought to have their own individual list, and it generates answers like, “I’m thankful for my family, I’m thankful for Diet Pepsi, I’m thankful for Michelle Bachmann . . .”

In other words, it becomes a laundry list of the stuff you like.

Not the idea.

I don’t think that’s consistent with the thinking behind the establishment of Thanksgiving Day, at least as traditionally recognized in the United States. When the Pilgrims arrived, they had no idea if they would find the means by which to sustain themselves, and if they did find it, they didn’t know if they’d be able to get their hands on it. The Indians they encountered could well have slaughtered them.

When they found a bountiful harvest and friendly natives who were willing to not only share but teach them how to survive here, they were thankful to God for having their backs.

Thanksgiving Day in the United States is when Americans thank God for having our backs from the founding of this nation right up to the present day, as he has blessed us with the opportunity to live in the most free and prosperous nation on Earth.

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Dacia Nichol

All right, polish your guns and sharpen your knives. I’m taking on Sarah Palin today because, in my opinion, she’s doing something horrible. She’s destroying the legend of Ronald Reagan in the eyes of the next generation.

Being a fairly well-informed next generational myself, I understand a few things here. For one, Ronald Reagan was a human being that made mistakes. So is Sarah Palin. I see the comparisons, and by some stretch, a few of the similarities. But here’s the deal:

Cease and desist.

Ronald Reagan has become a God-like figure in the Republican Party. He’s our rally cry. He’s where we point when we’re challenged to define what our goal is. He’s in the realm of justification, meaning if you can point to where “Reagan did it”, you can justify your position on something. I’d like to emphasize that what is often pointed to are his actions. Not the man himself as a whole.

This is where I think Sarah Palin-ites are becoming a problem. In an effort to defend her, they’re dragging out the Reagan calls to excuse the reasons her message only resonates with certain right-wing elements and not the rest of America.

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Brett Noel

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Large version for newspaper publication.

Greyscale version for newspaper publication.

Dan Calabrese

Per my Michigan View Editor Henry Payne, here’s a quick quiz for you: How do you know when a congressional incumbent is truly untouchable? Answer: When he’s so confident of his perpetual re-election that he’s willing to do absolutely anything, in full view of everyone, without the slightest hint of embarrassment.

I give you, Congressman John Conyers of Detroit. On a recent trip from Detroit to Washington, the good congressman decided to pass the time with a little light reading material, and you know, he reads it for the articles!

Boobs in Washington.

Apparently the one he’s reading here is about lesbian sex, by the way, but there’s probably an interview on judicial matters in there somewhere, as befits the chairman (soon to be “ranking member”) of the House Judiciary Committee.

Detroit News reporter Charlie LeDuff took the pictures and shot a quick 12-second video, which really doesn’t show you anything you can’t see in the stills. (That’s why I didn’t bother embedding it.)

Is there a defense to be offered on the congressman’s behalf? You bet! His wife, Monica, has been sentenced to 37 months in federal prison for accepting a bribe in the Synagro Sludge scandal during her tenure as president of the Detroit City Council. So while she’s away, the old man is going to have to, er, find other methods of, er . . . I think maybe we should stop now.

Awesome!

Dan Calabrese

The Detroit Tigers are reportedly close to signing Victor Martinez away from the Boston Red Sox for four years, $50 million. This news prompted a liberal journalist friend of mine to huff that no one is worth that kind of money unless he creates hundreds of jobs or cures cancer – you know this argument.

Here’s my reply, which I thought was pretty damn good if I do say so myself:

Worth it, by definition.

You’re wrong. The Detroit Tigers are a massive revenue-generating enterprise precisely because the fans buy tickets and merchandise and watch the TV broadcasts that facilitate the broadcast revenue. Successful revenue-generating enterprises… re-invest in the quality of the product they offer to their markets.

What they’ll invest in Victor Martinez in the course of protecting their product quality will allow them to charge prices for tickets, merchandise and TV advertising that fans and sponsors will agree to pay, freely and of their own volition, because their desire for the product is such that, in their judgment, it is worth the price.

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Dan Calabrese

This is where the dangers of nuclear proliferation become more than just theoretical. We’ve known for years that the NorKs were working toward having their own bomb, and we’ve let them play us time and again without taking aggressive action.

This morning their bombardment of an island controlled by the South has actually resulted in the deaths of two people. That’s what we call war, people.

War.

The normal response to such an action, especially against a U.S. ally, would be for the South to overrun this backward communist hellhole with U.S. support and incorporate it into the civilized world. But presumably that can’t be done because Kim Jong Il just might have the ability to turn Seoul into a gigantic fire pit.

So what exactly are South Korea’s options? And what are ours, now that we’ve let it get this far?

Oh, by the way, people have told me I was crazy for years when I’ve suggested we should consider launching a pre-emptive nuclear strike against Pyongyang to prevent this day from ever coming. Are you sure I was crazy?

Another question: How long until Baghdad faces the same quandary?

Bob Maistros

The headline from this week’s provocative TIME-Pew survey  and cover story on the state of matrimony is “Who Needs Marriage?”  And the key stat is that nearly 40 percent of respondents think it’s obsolete, up from just 28 percent in 1978 (the year I wed).

Yeah.  Like eating is obsolete.  And breathing.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ring.

In the headlines and their heads, Americans may go along with the “obsolete” label.  But if you want to know what’s in their hearts, look beyond that big, hairy, scary number to the more in-depth questions asked in the poll.  For example:  44 percent of respondents under 30 supposedly agreed that tying the knot was passe.  But only five percent of those young people want to stay single.

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David Karki

“Whether you like it, or whether you don’t like it, learn to love it because it’s the best thing going today! WHOOO!”

Former pro wrestler Ric Flair’s old tagline could well apply to the prospect of Sarah Palin becoming the Republican Party’s 2012 presidential nominee. Like it or not, all of those who don’t want her are going to have to deal with her if they hope to get anybody else on the ballot in her stead. She is the proverbial eight hundred pound gorilla in the room.

As such, here are my thoughts on several Palin related subjects.

• On being a “quitter” for having resigned the Alaska governorship:  This was the best strategic move she could ever have made. If Palin had stayed, she and the Alaskan taxpayers would have been financially bled to death by endless frivolous ethics lawsuits. And she would have taken disingenuous heat for “neglecting gubernatorial duties” every time she left the state. Read the rest of this entry »