Archive for August, 2010

Dacia Nichol Taylor

“Tacos are boring. I mean, ground beef and a baked tortilla shell is a good idea, but everyone knows it’s bland. Where are the ideas for making it taste better?  Everyone keeps pointing out how bland meat and crispy flour tastes, but no one is presenting any additional condiments to add and improve the taste.” - InstaLiberal

“Tomatoes!” – A voice from off in the distance.

Superheroes.

“Just bland shell. And beef. You want more, step up with some ideas!”

“Sour cream!  Cheese!” – Another voice in the distance.

“No no no. All you say is no more bland shell. No more bland beef. But where are your ideas?”

Ahem.

Read the rest of this entry »

Brett Noel

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

Full-size version for newspaper publication

Greyscale version for newspaper publication

Bob Maistros

News Flash:  Congressional Democrats shoot down resolution barring Lame Duck session after election.  Both sides speculate as to the wish list of action items with so many defeated solons potentially freed from further wrath of voters …

On the first day of the Lame Duck, My Nancy gave to me
A trillion in cap-and-trade fees.

On the second day of the Lame Duck, My Nancy gave to me
2 million funded aborts
And a trillion in cap-and-trade fees

Holiday duck . . . or turkey?

On the third day of the Lame Duck, My Nancy gave to me
3000 forced union elections
2 million funded aborts
And a trillion in cap-and-trade fees

On the fourth day of the Lame Duck, My Nancy gave to me
Read the rest of this entry »

Dacia Nichol Taylor

Alright Huckster. You did it this time. I was sympathetic to your minister past and the notion that you could comfort people since you seemed like an overall nice guy. I have no issue with your feel-good talk show, your bass jams or your weight loss story. You, as a person…you do your thing, and that’s, well . . . your thing.

You do not, however, qualify to lead this country, and this latest bit you’ve come out with (actually, it’s the same bit you played in 2008 but got a pass on the spotlight and outrage) proves the point in a present day sense – again.

Sorry, baby.

“Present day” as in the kind of leadership we’re going to need to chart the course back to sanity in Washington. See: Cajones.

Mike Huckabee (still) supports anchor babies as a matter of compassion. His reasons are a) It’s not the kids’ fault that their parents did something illegal, and b) After living in this country and receiving our education, they would be better off potentially going to college and getting good jobs vs. being forced work on farms.

Oh look!  It’s a straw man!  Bare your teeth, Huck, and sick ‘em!

Read the rest of this entry »

Dan Calabrese

Try to follow the logic here: If you’d rather not hire people who have criminal records or bad credit histories, you might be a racist. So says the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

The EEOC, which apparently exists for the purpose of reaching such bizarre conclusions, makes this claim because a disproportionate number of those with bad credit and rap sheets are minorities. Thus, employment practices that take a dim view of such things are, by definition, discriminatory.

And you want to be my latex salesman.

Now you, the prospective employer protest: You don’t care if the would-be employee is black, white, yellow, red or Alabama crimson. Hiring criminals with credit problems is foolishness up with which you will not put. It has nothing whatsoever to do with race. It is simply smart business.

The EEOC doesn’t even dispute you on your motivation. It may very well have nothing to do with race. The EEOC doesn’t care. It’s still discrimination because the average minority is more likely to be negatively impacted by your policy, even if that’s not what you intend.

The Associated Press reports on the EEOC’s helpful direction to employers:

Just ask Adrienne Hudson, a single mother who says she was fired from her new job as a bus driver at First Transit in Oakland, Calif., when the company found out she had been convicted seven years earlier for welfare fraud.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tina Trimble Belliston

OK, quick little economic pop quiz here:  If you use your Visa to pay off your MasterCard this month, and then next month you use your American Express to pay off your Visa, and the next month start back at square one and pay off the Visa with your Mastercard, have you actually paid off your debt?  Common sense applied to this little equation gives us a short answer: No.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

But the Federal Reserve is planning on doing just that – buying our government’s debt.

This is, of course, a red flag that the Federal Reserve is losing confidence in the “summer of recovery”. While, in the big scheme of things, the amount the Fed intends to spend – about $10 billion per month according to economists – is fairly small in comparison, it will likely lead us down the road of the Fed having to buy more and more of our debt in order to maintain the status quo as our economy continues to falter. After all, something as massive as the behemoth that is our government debt can only continue to stand up for so long after repeatedly being propped up and lashed back together with duct tape and baling twine.

By taking this course of action, the Fed hopes to drive interest rates down on mortgages and corporate borrowing, in theory causing the economy to rebound more quickly by encouraging people to borrow and spend more.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dacia Nichol Taylor

You know there’s a calm before the storm when O’Reilly and Hannity are still reporting last week’s news stories.  See: Michelle is back from Spain already but we’re still looking at who she had with her.  I didn’t exactly need the image of who her gynecologist was – or the fact that they were such close friends that a trip to Spain was merited for any event involving the doctor.

The right way.

Tina Trimble Belliston

A few weeks ago, the internet was all abuzz with rumors that a Texas ranch had been taken over by the Mexican drug cartel known as Los Zetas.  People were claiming it was a hoax just as quickly as someone else could claim it was a legitimate story. While certainly not a difficult scenario to envision given all the violence on the border at the hands of the drug cartels, with repeated staunch refusals by the Laredo Police Department to substantiate the claims, people were quick to assume it was indeed a hoax.

Lovely people.

Well, after 16 days of repeated denials by Laredo law enforcement, it would appear that a police blotter confirms not only that this story was indeed legitimate, but also that multiple agencies responded to the threat.

Wow. Color me shocked.

The blotter transcript follows:

Read the rest of this entry »

Jill Ciminillo

It took me almost a full week to say this, but I don’t completely hate the 2010 Honda Accord Crosstour. I just mostly hate it.

For the first four days, I felt like Goldie Locks trying to find a comfortable driving position. The driver’s seat ranged from too low to too much lumbar support. I couldn’t get the seatback positioned properly. Then I sat too close to the steering wheel. And then too far from the pedals. I couldn’t quite get the right ratio between pedals, seatback and steering wheel, so every day began with a series of adjustments. Which was rather annoying.

2010 Honda Accord Crosstour

Though, at the end at least, I kind of settled in, and my driving position didn’t completely suck. It just mostly sucked.

Lest you think it’s just me and my petite frame, I should reveal that one of my tweet buddies who sells Hondas mentioned that he had a tall customer who couldn’t quite fit either. His exact reply was: “I got a big guy who doesnt fit in one here right now! LOL WHO IS THIS CAR FOR!! all those pesky average people… geez.”

Average indeed.

Read the rest of this entry »

Brett Noel

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

cartoon

High-resolution version for newspaper publication.

Grayscale version for newspaper publication.