Archive for August, 2010

Tina Trimble Belliston

Call me nuts, but why on Earth would anyone be foolish enough to believe in this day and age, when up is down and down is somewhere off in left field, that private property is, well, private?

I mean, come on – let’s get real, people. Everyone knows that your driveway, even thought it’s on your private property, is not considered private property, for Pete’s sake.

Oh, wait… what’s that you say? Private property is private property is private property? Not so fast there, peons. According to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, your driveway is not private even though it is privately owned.

Meet your new Bill of Rights.

Apparently, according to these glazed-over shells of what at one time passed for those who upheld the law, aka U.S. Circuit Court judges for the Ninth Circuit, if your driveway is not protected by a fence or a gate, it does not qualify as private property.

So what does this mean exactly? Does this mean that those of us who cannot afford to construct an eight-foot privacy fence bordering the entire circumference of our property are now not afforded the same rights as those who can? Signs hailing “Private Property” and “No Trespassing” be damned!

Hold up there, Nelly! Rein in the ponies, I’m getting ahead of myself here. I have a tendency to do that at times, so here’s a little back story to set the mood.

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Dacia Nichol Taylor

1.  You don’t understand why Microsoft Word keeps telling you that “obamanation” is not the correct spelling.  Bonus Points: You haven’t added “Obama” to your spelling dictionary yet because the suggested “Osama” correction still makes you smile.

2.  You talk about the “troop pullout” so much, your friends think you have a great sex life.

3.  You’ve stopped wincing after every pro-capitalist blog post you write.  Funny how crickets seem louder than HuffPo rants.

Oh, OK . . .

4.  When your spouse complained about the amount of oil in your hair, you told them not to worry about it because it would go away on its own eventually.

5.  After your spouse got mad about all the peanut butter you were hoarding in the basement, you actually bought food insurance. At least Glenn Beck understands you.

6.  Your wife has started complaining about a lack of “stimulus”. It took you a week to realize she wasn’t talking about money.

7.  You’re starting to consider camera shyness an asset. Well, at least when you’re in Nevada.

8.  You are actually starting to get Stephen Colbert jokes.

9.  You begged your wife to let you name your new twins “Paul” and “Ryan”.

10.  You listen to Disturbed’s “Deify” just to hear President Bush’s voice again.

Dan Calabrese

It’s still too early to declare victory, but upstart Alaska Senate candidate Joe Miller is in an excellent position to take the Republican nomination away from incumbent Lisa Murkowski, whose only hope now is that a highly unlikely tide of absentee ballots can somehow propel her over the top.

The final count won’t be known until some time next week, but we already know this: The media declared Murkowski the winner before a single vote was cast, and that kind of nonsense needs to stop.

Vote totals? What vote totals? The media said I won.

Chris Cizzilla of the Washington Post spoke for the the establishment in declaring this race over before it began. Slate skipped the formality of letting people vote and went straight to the ritual of crowing about the supposed embarrassment handed to Miller backer Sarah Palin.

Oops!

The problem here is not that the media got their predictions wrong. It’s that the media now deals in predictions and speculation instead of reporting facts.

I made this point a few weeks ago in reference to a story that had nothing to do with politics. The Associated Press went to town with a story claiming Brett Favre had informed the Minnesota Vikings he would not return to play this year. The story was based on nothing more than an unnamed source who claimed Favre had texted teammates to this effect. Not a single teammate ever went on record confirming this, but it was the AP’s story and they were sticking to it.

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Dacia Nichol Taylor

As a former Slavic studies enthusiast turned general issues commentator, I find myself appalled by Russia from an ideologue’s perspective: Why oh why would Russia help Iran with nuclear fuel when, clearly, Iran actively supports terrorism, and Russia has a huge issue with terrorism itself?

Pissing off the United States is one thing, but when Russia has its own people to protect, has its own Afghanistan right in its Northern Caucus backyard, and its own Karzai-type problems with Russia-friendly caucus leaders in its Chechen population (except theirs get assassinated), it seems like madness to directly arm men who fund groups actively trying to destroy them.

Cash, comrade.

Just a minute. I’ve received a telegram from the Coffee Department with a three-cup consumption order.

Russia is not the United States.

While American interests may trumpet Nancy Pelosi’s interests from time to time throughout the world in our foreign policy decisions, our aim is always to promote freedom and democracy in the world. It’s the one thing that separates us from the empires of history. I know there are those that might disagree with that statement, and yes, we tend to just stick our noses in places that – you know – affect us in some way. But the fact remains that we do not conquer. We are reaction-driven. Even in the case of preemption, i.e., we react to threats with an iron fist and a boot in the ass.

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Dan Calabrese

It’s a tough morning for the legacy media, which was expecting to pummel us with headlines about how the establishment roared back in yesterday’s primaries. The voters in Florida and Alaska did not cooperate.

And while the result was different in Arizona, where John McCain easily earned the GOP nomination for another Senate term, the real theme to emerge yesterday was that serious reformers have the voters’ ear this year. Clowns do not.

Tool.

In Florida, establishment GOP favorite Bill McCollum, the state’s attorney general, was upset by tea party-backed Rick Scott in the gubernatorial primary. Scott would represent a radical shift from squishy one-time Republican, now-I-don’t-know-what-I-am Gov. Charlie Crist.

In Alaska, the media had declared big-spending GOP Sen. Lisa Murkowski all but anointed for the nomination to another term in Washington. They explained to us yesterday, as voters were going to the polls, that “Alaskans like their bridges to nowhere,” which was why they would send the pork-barreling incumbent back for another term.

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Brett Noel

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Dan Calabrese

Ever since Barack Obama burst on the scene, an undercurrent of particularly unhinged conservatives has insisted he is secretly a Muslim. Generally speaking, commentators with a readership beyond their list of Facebook friends (myself included) have declined to write about this notion, just as we have declined to write about birtherism and the notion of Obama as some sort of Manchurian Candidate.

Act like you mean it.

Why? Because these are ridiculous ideas. That doesn’t mean I think Obama is a good president. Quite the opposite. But just because I disapprove of his performance in office doesn’t mean I am required to believe every conceivable criticism of him, no matter how outlandish.

But I’m not a political activist. I’m just a guy who writes what I think. So while the most fevered activists unleash the silliest Obama conspiracy theories imaginable, and insist that anyone who doesn’t believe them is a damnable RINO sellout, sane commentators ignore their rants and keep the discussion focused on issues that actually matter.

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Herman Cain

Three cheers for Politico.com! The liberals tried to keep it secret, but thanks to Politico, they are busted! The Health Care Deform legislation has bombed with even their liberal constituency. And now they are trying to spin - as in distract, deceive and lie – their way to public acceptance of bad legislation.

As expected, the mainstream media is providing plenty of distractions so people will not focus on this critical story, and cause Democrats to get “beat up” again during the August recess as they did in 2009. If they have the nerve to even face their constituency, they may as well get ready for another whupping.

Look! More suckers!

Distractions such as the president’s vacations, the proposed mosque in New York City, slow processing of damage claims from the BP oil disaster, a special session of Congress to spend more money we do not have, a research project paid for by taxpayers to determine the effects of cocaine on monkeys, speculation that Hillary Clinton might be Obama’s running mate in 2012, the president’s low approval ratings and many more stories might be interesting. But not critical.

National security, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, our stalled economy, tax increases on January 1, 2011, Social Security and Medicare, an exploding national debt and the impact of the health care legislation are critical stories we ought to hear about in the news every day. But we don’t.

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Brett Noel

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