Jamie Weinstein

In Connecticut, former Rep. Rob Simmons is embroiled in a tough primary for the Republican Senate nomination. His opponent is none other than Linda McMahon, wife of Vince McMahon and former CEO of World Wresting Entertainment (formerly known as the World Wresting Federation).

CT. voters have questions. Does she have the answers?

The WWE has faced harsh criticism in the past. Some critics see it as lewd, others see it is as glorifying violence. Naturally, McMahon’s affiliation with the WWE demands that she answer some serious questions for Connecticut’s voters about this association. Here within are 10 questions she can start with:

1) How close is Linda McMahon to the Iron Sheik and how will that affect her position on Iran?

2) Was the Ultimate Warrior really the ultimate warrior? If so, does candidate McMahon support sending him to single handedly hunt down Osama Bin Laden?

3) When did Mrs. McMahon know Sgt. Slaughter was a Benedict Arnold? With him no longer under Saddam Hussein’s protection, will she proactively push for bringing the traitor to justice?

4) Is it candidate McMahon’s contention that Hulk Hogan knows, or has ever known, best?

5) Did Mrs. McMahon have anything to do with Shawn Michaels’s outrageous betrayal of his former The Rockers tag team partner Marty Jannetty by throwing him through a glass window on national television in 1991? If so, her involvement should be a disqualifier, at least for anybody like myself who was traumatized in their youth by this betrayal. This issue is personal.

6) Did candidate McMahon have any role in Macho Man Randy Savage’s post-wrestling rap career? A career, mind you, that has produced such lyrics as:

Be a man Hulk Come on don’t be scared

Your runnin’ from Macho that’s what I heard

Be a man Hogan Come on don’t be a chump

I never thought Hulk would go out like a punk

Be a man Hulk Come on don’t be scared

You’re runnin’ from Macho that’s what I heard

Be a man Hogan Boy you’s a chump

Cuz Hulk Hogan is a real big punk

If so, can Connecticut voters be assured that Macho Man will be a speechwriter for the campaign? It will just make things so much more entertaining.

7) Is Linda McMahon just a puppet for the Millionaire Dollar Man Ted DiBiase?

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8.) Will candidate McMahon be reluctant to reign in the IRS because of the WWE’s relationship with former wrestler Irwin R. Schyster (also affectionately known as IRS)?

9) I have a bad sense of smell. What was the Rock cooking?

10) Is their any truth to the rumors that Linda McMahon, or one of her associates, persuaded Sen. Chris Dodd to not seek re-election in Connecticut by offering him a position as a the WWE wrestler ‘The Mortgage Man’?

Connecticut voters have questions. Linda McMahon must answer them. Well, not must. But it would be nice.

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