Archive for December, 2009

Bob Franken

Remember the late George Carlin’s routine where the “Hippy Dippy Weatherman” reports that radar pinpoints a line of thundershowers? He goes on to say that radar also shows Russian missiles heading our way “So don’t sweat the thundershowers”.

This is similar. There are urgent predictions that unless there is meaningful health care reform, the nation will soon face a medical emergency.

He was a wise man.

But there are also dire warnings that doing too-little-too-late about global warming will mean the world will be overrun both by floods and drought. So, as our prophet George Carlin might have said, Don’t sweat health care.

The good news is these alarms are only based on the belief our politicians are unable or unwilling to make the tough, unselfish decisions needed to save the future. The bad news is that appears to be a valid premise. Read the rest of this entry »

Brett Noel

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Mark Watson

Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Nebraska), allegedly the last Democratic holdout for the health insurance destruction bill, also known as ObamaCare, successfully solicited enough tax dollars for his state to end his threatened filibuster against the legislation.

The way chumps do it.

For weeks, reports on Nelson’s intractable stand against federal dollars funding abortion permeated media outlets from the New York Times to Mark Levin’s radio show, and everywhere in between.

Read the rest of this entry »

Bob Maistros

(Loud knocking)

Wondrous Willie: “Go away!”

(Further knocking)

Wondrous Willie: “What? What?”

I knew they'd come crawling back...

Harry: “Are you the Wondrous Willie who worked for the Democrats all those years?”

Wondrous Willie: “The Democrats said they didn’t need me or my wife anymore. They said they had this new Miracle Worker … they called him The One, and they won a big election with him. And thanks for the reminder of such a hurtful rejection. Why don’t you just tie me in a chair with Rosie O’Donnell and Joy Behar and make me watch an Al Gore PowerPoint presentation?”

Nancy: “We need a miracle.” Read the rest of this entry »

Dan Calabrese

You know that little trick the Democrats used to make it appear that ObamaCare will reduce the deficit over the next 10 years? No, not the one where they pretend they’re going to cut Medicare reimbursements for doctors, even though everyone knows they won’t. I’m talking about the one where all the taxes and fees start immediately, but none of the “benefits” kick in until 2014.

I'll watch the money. Don't you worry.

About that.

If the whole thing is going to cost $897 billion over 10 years, and we’re going to start collecting all these taxes and fees four years in advance of providing the benefits, what do you think they’re going to do with the money during the ensuing four years?

Read the rest of this entry »

Kelly Anderson Wright

At 1 a.m. EST Monday, while snow fell softly on the Jefferson Memorial rotunda in Washington D.C., 58 Democratic senators and two independents voted in favor of the Senate health care reform bill.

Sleep well, my countrymen.

Exactly 60 votes were what Harry Reid needed to move the Senate bill forward to a House-Senate Conference committee, the bill’s next step.
While the Senators cast their votes, most Americans were asleep, exhausted with last-minute holiday shopping and preparations before they face two very short workweeks, and then the end of 2009.

Read the rest of this entry »

Mark Watson

Morality has recently been redefined by a couple of U. S. senators.

Sen. Diane Feinstein, (D-California) said last week that using tax dollars from pro-life Americans to cover insurance plans that cover abortion is morally correct.

Your dollars. Her morality.

Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Maryland) recently proclaimed it is morally wrong for members of Congress to vote against the health care bill because insurance companies discriminate against women where abortion is concerned.

Isn’t that special?

Read the rest of this entry »

Brett Noel

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Steven Hutson

Holy humbug, Batman!

Just the other day I noticed an article in my local newspaper, courtesy of the Associated Press.  It reported that legions of atheists are fed up with the annual observances of Christmas.

And now, for the airing of grievances. I got a lotta problems with you people!

They feel socially isolated from their friends and colleagues, and they resent being surrounded by so many trappings of religion; television specials, carolers at the mall, a nativity scene in the town square.  They don’t believe in Jesus, they don’t go to church, and they have resolved to “eat, drink, and be wary” in spite of all the (perceived) hostility.

Read the rest of this entry »

Herman Cain

As members of Congress headed out of town for the Christmas recess, they left behind some gifts for the taxpayers: The House passed $155 billion jobs bill, a $1.1 trillion fiscal 2010 spending bill to fund operations of the federal government, and Senator Ben Nelson’s deciding 60^th vote on the Senate’s health care bill.

Merry Christmas, dammit.

A few observations about each gift might lessen your appetite for Christmas dinner, but it’s worth knowing the truth and avoiding a few calories as a bonus.

Since the $787 billion so-called stimulus bill spent on roads, bridges and “shovel ready” projects produced monthly 2009 unemployment rates ranging from 8.1 percent to 10.2 percent, and a reported 480,000 new jobless claims last week, it is safe to conclude that we cannot spend our way to prosperity.

Read the rest of this entry »