Please tell me that this is a cruel, sick, twisted joke of a hoax.

No?

Well, then, allow me to share my 47 cents’ worth on this one.

If it shows NCIS, regulate it!

The Associated Press reports from Sacramento that the California Energy Commission unanimously approved tighter regulations on – get this – flat panel televisions.

Apparently, all other problems (taxes, inflation, jobs, borders, rolling blackouts, deficits, you name it) are all fixed.  Now, they move to more pressing issues.  Here’s how the story on Fox News unfolds:

California regulators have adopted the first energy-efficiency standards for televisions in the U.S., a move that will eventually ban power-hungry sets from the state’s store shelves.

Wednesday’s action by the California Energy Commission could lead the way in a general reform of standards for an industry increasingly focused on wide-view, flat-screen, high-definition sets.

Picking this apart would take a month of columns, but I’ll be brief. (Stop laughing!)

Naturally, the saying “As California goes…” applies here. Whenever left-coast bureaucrats get some harebrained idea about masking a power grab in the form of improving life, liberty, property, poverty, environment, or louse-wort snapdragons, the idea eventually catches on in the rest of the nation.

But this has gone too far.

No, I am not a big fan of the one-eyed demon we used to call the boob tube. I watch an occasional show and some football. I don’t have time for anything else. But if someone else does, and they want to spend their own money on the biggest, baddest, flattest, highest-definition monstrosity they can find, who am I to stand in their way?

Isn’t the biggest financial problem in America the rising unemployment rate? Is it not amplified in the Planet California? Do government officials think that this measure will actually “create or save” jobs by going green?

Here’s what will actually happen:

Retailers will sell what they can while they still can. Buyers will clear the shelves. Manufacturers will produce more than they should because of a sudden surge followed by an even more sudden drop in sales. Stores will lose inventory, lay off workers, and eventually close. Remaining consumers will go across state lines or over the Internet to buy what they want, even if it means risking smuggling.

What’s next? Will there be border agents inspecting vehicles carrying TVs?

Instead, unelected, unaccountable, anonymous policy wonks come up with schemes to stifle industry, innovation, and work.

You got to love this tidbit:

The new standards will apply to new televisions up to 58 inches. Those larger than 58 inches, which account for no more than 3 percent of the market, were left out in a concession to sellers of high-end home-theater TVs. But the commission is expected to regulate them in the future.

Translation: We’re coming for you next.

And for what? So they can save energy. Perhaps the Energy Commission should focus on producing more energy instead of penalizing those who wish to truly stimulate the economy by actually spending money that they earned.

Besides, wasn’t it government, egged on by Hollywood, that forced everyone to get these new TVs in the “digital transition” in the first place?

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