Dastardly Israelis somehow even more disdainful of Hamas’s human rights than previously believed

Bob Maistros
In the wake of the controversy raised by the so-called Goldstone Report by the United Nations Human Rights Council – which accused Israel of a range of violations of international law resulting from its assault on Gaza from December 2008 to January of this year – a new round of charges has been forwarded by the investigating panel.
An addendum to the report alleges that the Israelis engaged in systematic destruction of Palestinian property, defacing of and damage to its territory and areas and other violations of the human rights of the people of Gaza.

Dude, where's my minutes?
The specific charges against Israel in the new section of the report include the following:
- Israeli homes, schools, synagogues and other structures interrupted the trajectory of some 12,000 Palestinian missiles over the last eight years. The resulting impact caused damage to, and in most cases, the complete destruction of this property with no compensation to its Gaza-based owners.
- Israel admits to inflicting on Gaza’s civilians, in the words of Defense Minister Ehud Barak, “millions of leaflets, telephone calls and text messages urging them to leave areas” before Israeli attacks. The new addendum indicates that this rain of leaflets defaced Palestinian homes, mosques, hospitals and streets and undermined the Authority’s beautification efforts.
- The addendum also points out that Israel’s telephone calls and text messages represented invasions of privacy that violated the human rights of their recipients. In addition, the calls and texts caused innocent civilians to use up minutes or incur other charges, again with no effort at compensation.
- Finally, Israeli countercharges that Hamas forces exposed civilian populations to danger in cowardly and cynical fashion by hiding in their midst, storing their weapons caches in private homes, and launching rockets from schools and mosques – while true – harmed the reputation and damaged the self-esteem of the individuals involved, representing serious violations of their human rights and dignity.
Condemnation of the Israeli actions was swift and widespread. Gaza residents took to the streets to protest Israel’s violations of human rights and international law, and Hamas called for action by the Security Council and the International Criminal Court to sanction the Jewish state. Governments in Western capitals issued statements of disapproval and met to consider potential sanctions.
The Obama administration is expected to engage in a new review of its policy toward Israel. Meanwhile, the White House promised to rush humanitarian aid to Hamas to clean up any remaining damage from the litter, purchase replacement cell phones and new accounts for the entire population of Gaza, and pay for psychological treatment, self-esteem courses and ice cream cones all around for the traumatized Hamas leadership.
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What atrocities! The nerve of those lousy “Jew bastards” (to borrow an epithet from Jimmy Carter). Have they no shame? First they abandon Gaza to the Palestinians, leaving a once thriving are to wither and rot. Then they build a fence to keep their murderous archenemies from entering Israel in order to slaughter and maim innocent Israeli citizens. How dare they attempt to prevent these Palestinians from practicing one of the pillars of their religion!
Thankfully, with the election of Barack Hussein Obama to the presidency of the United States, we Americans have no such issues (any longer). We have stopped being such barbarians, and no longer consider self-preservation to be an inalienable right. We have opted instead to allow such benevolent nations as China, North Korea, and Iran to take over as masters of the world.
Things should progress much more smoothly (for all of us) from here on out. Happy Ramadan everyone!
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