Waxing and whining
March 11th, 2010
Mike Ball
My heart, my soul, surely would be thine
If thou wouldst but wax thy bikini line.
- W. Shakespeare*
I think we can all agree that life is just not fair. We men get to walk around the beach looking like gorillas in board shorts, while women have to live in fear of showing even the tiniest hint of stubble on their legs, armpits, or the dreaded bikini line.
Don't ask.
Now, let me just say that there are some things us guys generally prefer not to know about women, and one of the main ones would be how they deal with unwanted body hair. It’s not that we don’t sympathize or appreciate all the effort. We would just rather not hear the details. So why, you might ask, am I tackling this subject in print?
Because, ladies, I have felt your pain.
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Obama’s communist takeover attempt – and our response
March 11th, 2010
David Karki
I did my usual daily check of online news today, and these were the first four items that caught my eye out of the gate:
• Democrats try to ram hated socialist “health care” bill through Congress without a vote
• Obama budget runs all-time record monthly deficit ($220 billion for 28 days of February)
Change.
• Obama places entire domestic energy supply off-limits
• Obama considers ban of all recreational fishing
What do the above four headlines from today’s news have in common? OK, besides the fact that the leftist propaganda machine known as the mainstream media hasn’t and won’t make a significant mention of any of them, other than to blame Republicans for “partisanship” should they dare try to slow any of this down (when Democrats would easily have the numbers if they’d stop their hyper-partisan overreach) and spew Democratic boilerplate to help cover it up (Big Insurance, Big Oil, blah blah blah).
System correction
March 11th, 2010
Bob Franken
Sometimes we can find laughs in obscure places. An example would be the “Corrections” section of a newspaper, particularly one of those high and mighty ones like the Washington Post or New York Times.
Take this item in the Thursday Washpost:
Relics in more ways than one.
“A Nightclubs listing in the March 5 Weekend section misstated the name of a band performing Thursday at J.V.’S Restaurant in Falls Church. The band is Johnny and the Rebels, not Johnny and the Relics”.
And here I thought the band maybe played Classic Rock. Or maybe, here in the nation’s capitol, it was a group of big time players in government and politics. Because this is certainly the place to find relics.
Great Moments in History: “Worrye Not About that Fyne Prynt”
March 11th, 2010
Bob Maistros
News Flash: Speaking to a Washington conference of the National Association of Counties, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says of the health reform legislation now before Congress, “(W)e have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.”
"Dude, just sign it."
June 15, 1215 – William Hardel, Mayor of London: “Forsooth, King John. Thou mustest affix thine seal to this Magna Carta; worrye not about ye fyne prynt. We will let you know what lieth therein about ye King and his powyrs later, far from the fogge of controversye over your failures in France, your assignment of ryghts to Englande and Irelande to ye Pope in Rome.” Read the rest of this entry »
Greece’s window on America
March 11th, 2010
Lawrence J. Haas
It is the land of Plato and Aristotle, home to the Acropolis and Parthenon, the birthplace of the ancient Olympics and the place from which the Olympics were re-born for the modern age over a century ago.
It is Greece and, in its efforts to solve its budget crisis, it may offer a window into America’s future – and the world’s.
A lesson for America?
We should not over-simplify, for Greece is not the United States. The former is a small nation on the southern end of the Balkan Peninsula, with scattered islands to the south and east and a past that’s far more memorable than its present.
The latter remains the world’s pre-eminent economic power, its currency still the main means of commerce across the globe. The world has far more at stake in America’s economic health than Greece’s, and financial markets will likely give the United States far more time to fix its budget problems than any other nation.
Training day at 1600 Pennsylvania
March 10th, 2010
Bob Maistros
“OK, Mr. President, let’s get going on our media prep session. Why don’t we start with some of the lines we’ve been practicing on health care reform?”
“Right. ‘We want to bring down the cost of health care for families and businesses and for the federal govern – …’ bwah ha ha ha ha!”
What was that line again?
“Mr. President, what’s the matter?”
“How can anyone say this with a straight face! Heh, heh, heh!”
“Mr. President, this is serious stuff. You need to get out on the road and fight for your bill. And we need to be ready.”
Is Paul Ryan the only serious person in Washington?
March 10th, 2010
Nothing he’s saying here is all that difficult to figure out. We’ve committed far more than we can deliver, and if we don’t make serious reforms the country is going bankrupt.
Anyone who looks at the numbers can figure that out. So why is Ryan the only one doing it? Ryan himself has wondered aloud the same thing – saying how strange he finds it that he’s getting so much attention just for doing his job.
Weird.
The D.C. tickle fight
March 10th, 2010
Bob Franken
It’s a shame Eric Massa is leaving when he is. Never mind the definite impression he’s a wacko, lying sleaze bag; what causes him to stand out in Washington is his acknowledged experience with the “Tickle Fight”. He’s a regular old Elmo.
Tee hee.
By now, we all have heard that’s all he was doing to prompt charges he had groped staff members. So at the very moment Democrats are groping for some way to pass health care reform, he bails, just when his expertise would be useful.
Now that he’s a former member of Congress and before he goes into rehab, so he can run for re-election, he would be tremendously useful as a TV analyst. He could provide the insider’s view on all the moves during the ticklish legislative process ahead and the naked politics in and out of the shower room.
Self-governance
March 10th, 2010
Eric Massa may be nuts, but at least Congress is saving money on shower curtains
March 10th, 2010
Mark Watson
Finally, Congress is demonstrating a modicum of fiscal responsibility! According to Congressman Eric Massa (D-New York) congressional shower stalls no longer have shower curtains.
Imagine the dozens of dollars being saved. Maintenance crews no longer have to expend time cleaning up after congressional showers. Eliminating the repeated cleaning of the evil plastic curtains will significantly reduce the use of wretchedly anti-environmental cleaning products.
Clean as a whistle.
So far, Massa is the only congressman to object to showering sans privacy curtains. After all, members of Congress should have nothing to hide, particularly among their brethren members.
Congressman Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts) reportedly supports the shower curtain ban and has volunteered to patrol the showers to enforce the ban.
Curtainless showers were first brought to light during a radio interview of Massa on Sunday when he regaled his host and listeners about a confrontation in the shower with a naked Rahm Emanuel.
